I was near the bottom of the stairs when I finally stopped. I heard someone say, in a hushed, almost reverent tone “Oh shit, I think he’s really hurt.”I couldn’t move my hands. I didn’t even want to try. The wrists were already swelling grotesquely, turning purple. What hurt worst, what cut through the pain that was already leaking through the adrenaline, what really cut deep, was the pitying look on Shannon’s face as she looked down at my crumpled body. I could already hear the two-tone howl. And he got up and moved behind the wheel started the engine and they were moving to Los Angeles again.As they reached Kathy's home the guys asked that the girls take their numbers. They realized that being underage it wouldn't do to be calling the girls at home. And they did want to see them again, especially Marlene. The girls did promise to call, at least Marlene did, the others just nodded while anxiously looking around to see if anyone had noticed their 5:30 AM arrival.The guys drove off. In my intoxicated state I thought she might make a pass at me but she didn’t. She drove me home, said goodnight and left. The next day I was terribly embarrassed and spent the day dodging Ms Adams. It wasn’t until about 4pm she called me into the office. “Pam, about last night. I got the feeling you were wanting some excitement in your life” she said. I thought “my God here it comes”. But she said she was in a small group that met at weekends to compare experiences. “Would you be interested?. I'd read all those macho stories on the net and at times I felt the allure of them too, loading that gun and blowing the bitch and her new man out of their shoes and life's. But hell, we had two kids together and she was still a better mom than me. I wasn't the mothering type, and the way I had grown up I didn't really felt like a role model for anyone. But it had still cost me my kid's, I couldn't be there as I had dreamt too, once, not in their normal daily life's. And that had been my.
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