He was still like that when he reached it, the becomer of death. He was amazed how giant it seemed up close, scraping the floors of the clouds funneled between the ridges, even though he passed it every day into town. He glanced toward the distant edges where concrete cuts into stone and remembered for a second a story he was told, a german boy who spotted a leak in the dam above town and plugged it with his finger. Apparently he stood there for hours, resolute on saving the town, even plugging. They were fully loaded with all of their jump gear. They were just swaying in the breeze. From the expressions on their faces, it was pretty obvious that they weren’t happy to be there.Below them, an equal number of paratroopers were standing around with open parachute packs by their feet. They were looking up at the guys suspended over their heads. Young men being young men, they couldn’t resist teasing those who were hanging down, about ‘piñata practice.’There were two ambulances parked over. I did some exercises, then took a shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a new white shirt I'd had pressed at the cleaners. I drove over to the park with a slowly building excitement that actually had my hands trembling, it was so intense.It was a beautiful sunny day and there were groups of people enjoying the early June sunshine. There were some teenagers throwing a Frisbee, a group of older guys playing softball, some picnickers, and lots of kids at the playground.I strolled around. I don't want that. I just liked the concept of – this sounds totally selfish, but here goes. I like the idea of being able to focus solely on what you're doing to me and being able to control what comes next. I can't really do that when I'm on my back. I really enjoy that. I don't want you to think I don't. This is sort of like the opposite of what I did this morning while you were on the phone. I was in complete control of that portion of the event. If you don't want to try it or you don't.
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