Do not do what want, standstill. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and. "I'm not one to judge. Try me."It was do or die time. My heart pounded in my chest, and I focused intensely on not allowing my voice to crack as I told Katie about my "dream" wherein we are at a Halloween party and I walk in on her having sex with some guy I didn't know but was presumably one of her other partners. At that point, though, I lost steam and couldn't continue."What happens next?" Katie asked, taking another sip of wine. "Do you join in?" Yes, exactly," I trailed off, still unable. I was almost done when Aunt Gert walked in but she said not a word until I finished the piece and did a very nice job with it.I could see Aunt Gert was very impressed with my playing."Larry ... That was a wonderfull rendition of Chopin's etude and you have trouble seeing close up, at your age?"I had become quite hard wearing my Aunt Gerts half-glasses so I could see better. Was it the half-glasses or the beads? whatever it was caused me to have a hell of a sausage in my pants and Aunt Gert. I admitted they all excited me. I then asked why Dad had them.She paused and seemed like she was going to ignore the question, but shesighed and said, "I told him not to keep them here. I knew someday youwould find them. So it is his fault that I am going to reveal something toyou. Your father is very interested in that lifestyle. Some day when youare older, I will tell you more about it, but let's finish dressing youlike a proper young lady instead of a sissy boy."And we spent the rest of the.
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