It had become a function of necessity and had little to do with pleasure, though I was having trouble distinguishing between. Alia had joined at the second attempt, more for my heart than hers. I felt the pain she should have, for me being with another. She found it humorous to speed my seed. Her whispered words at the right moment would shorten the process greatly. Angelica no longer found the process uncomfortable, but little pleasure was derived from my manhood. She did so like the idea of. I was telling Jeff some ideas that I had for a booth when he told me, "Don't worry, I've already got something picked out. All you have to do is show up the day of the carnival."I was a little disappointed, because half the fun is coming up with the idea, but on the other hand, I imagined it would be something deliciously wicked.The day of the carnival dawned bright and sunny. It was a perfect day, and Jeff told me to meet him on the carnival grounds at 9:45, fifteen minutes before the carnival. I can't take this any more." I'll..." You'll nothing." I... I never knew it was any kind of a problem, Jamie." I know. You were just being you." I was." I know. I just can't handle it." You know, you never said anything." Well, how could I?" You could have asked me to be less..." Uninhibited, Tess?" Yeah. I guess. Uninhibited." Yeah, but I couldn't!" Why ever not?"I whispered then. "I like it." You... oh." And I would have thought you'd have noticed." Honestly, I didn't have a clue." No." I.... .. but also I wasreally embarrassed and like humiliated, because she wanted it to be thatway. It was mostly just confusing and she never knew how much I hadreally liked her doing that.So it's funny because I mean here I was getting exactly what I wanted,even though I didn't know then that I had wanted exactly that, and I wasgetting it as punishment, but it also gave me ideas and started me doingmore when she wasn't around.I was about 13 then so it was all new and that time it was sexual for.
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