“Any test tomorrow, any new boyfriends.” Within minutes she did not answer my questions. She hadpassed out on her own accord. My breathing became heavy as I stared at her chestrising and falling. Before all else I wanted to knowshe had not just killed her self. I reached out my handand held it just above her chest lowering just enoughso that when she breathed her chest would rise and hitmy hand. Soon I just relaxed my hand on her chest. Iunbuttoned one of the only two remaining. Your own foolishness keeps you from being one with yourself."My foolishness?"Yes, the darkness told him. You keep yourself separate from the mother that succors you. You strive to be apart. To be alone. You will not drink from the well even though you are dying of thirst."You're saying I should be more like 'them?' The mindless ones, the ones who walk smiling through their meaningless lives never knowing that the thoughts of everyone around them spit poison at their existences? I can't live. The Richelieu family bought an existing operation back in the seventies. They’d heard a lecture by Temple Grandin and hired her to redesign the pens and slaughterhouse for the best in humane animal care. Look her up at Grandin.com if you really want the details of the process. I’ll just say that the animals were calm when they were put down and the butchers were efficient. Our first class was a walk-through of the entire process from transportation through to hanging carcass.I’m not squeamish. I felt sexy and I wished I had a guy to wear it for.I opened the door just far enough for my roommate to see the top of me. I waved her in.She left the bedroom door open and the way our apartment was laid out, the guys had a perfect view into my room and of me. The lingerie is fairly sheer, but I didn’t try to cover up, even as the guys stared.My roommate smiled when she figured out that they were watching. “It would probably be a better picture if the guys were in it.”“You’re probably right.”.
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